Midlife Crisis Sports Car Database
A car dealership system specifically targets men experiencing existential dread with algorithmically optimized mid-life crisis vehicles. The database corre… (read more)
good luck pasting these into chatgpt
These aren't the same boring algorithms and array traversal. You need creativity, abstract thinking, lateral thinking, humour, and brevity.
Technical Assessment Questions
Viking Raid Invasion Planning
A Norse history enthusiast converted resource allocation to Viking raid planning because longship logistics are more efficient than Kubernetes orchestratio… (read more)
Airplane Crash Exception Handling
An in-flight entertainment system must continue operating while the plane experiences catastrophic failure. Passengers demand Netflix access even as oxygen… (read more)
Klingon Keyboard Malfunction
The Star Trek-obsessed system administrator configured all keyboards to Klingon after a Discovery marathon. Users can only input pagh, wa', cha', wej... Th… (read more)
Cannibalistic Startup Resource Saver
A failing startup's resource allocation has turned to "aggressive optimization" where departments literally consume each other's resources. Marketing devou… (read more)
Sanskrit Stack Overflow
A philosophy major turned developer created a programming language based on Sanskrit because ancient wisdom should guide modern logic. The system interpret… (read more)
Nuclear Winter Caching Strategy
A caching system must preserve critical data through nuclear winter while radiation corrupts memory. Cache hits are measured against radiation exposure tim… (read more)
Zodiac Codebase Analysis
An astrology-obsessed developer created a debugging system based on planetary alignments. Bugs are only fixable during certain astrological conditions, wit… (read more)
Cosmic Energy Police Department
An energy monitoring system polices the laws of thermodynamics like a cosmic traffic cop. It issues citations for entropy violations and perpetual motion m… (read more)
Dragon Daycare Measurement
You're running a daycare for baby dragons and need to measure wingspans for their health records using a LIDAR system that keeps malfunctioning in the heat… (read more)
Emoji Filesystem Navigator
A Gen Z intern replaced all file extensions with emojis because JPEG is so millennial. They've gone viral on TikTok with filesystem tutorials while users n… (read more)
Instagram Influencer Code Review
Code reviews are now conducted by Instagram influencers who rate pull requests on aesthetic appeal. Comments focus on whether variables are giving main cha… (read more)
Quantum Coffee Machine Interface
A coffee machine operates in quantum superposition until observed by a caffeine-deprived programmer. The coffee exists as both perfect and terrible until t… (read more)
Draconic Treasure Inventory Control
A D&D dungeon master converted the inventory system to ancient dragon hoarding algorithms. Five-thousand-year-old wyrms apparently know more about asset ma… (read more)
Schrödinger's Error Detective
A quantum physicist converted the debugging system into actual quantum mechanics. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle apparently explains most production bu… (read more)
Space Relationship Drama Protocol
A space station crew management system handles romantic relationships in confined quarters during multi-year missions. When astronauts break up, the system… (read more)
Floppy Disk Archive Simulation
A retro computing enthusiast stores modern data on virtual 1.44MB floppy disks. Large files must be split across multiple disks with authentic loading dela… (read more)
Existential Dread Monitoring
A mental health tracking system monitors the gradual realization that your programming job is meaningless in the cosmic scale. It tracks metrics like stari… (read more)
Opera Singer Error Messaging
System error messages are delivered by a dramatic opera singer who treats every 404 as a tragic aria. Stack traces become elaborate death scenes with multi… (read more)
Plate Tectonics Load Balancing
A geological monitoring system treats continental drift as a distributed computing problem with extremely slow response times. Load balancing across tecton… (read more)
Gravity API Rate Limiting
A physics simulation treats gravity as a paid API service with usage quotas. Objects keep hitting rate limits and floating away when they exceed their grav… (read more)
Heartbreak Song Factory
A natural language model was trained exclusively on Taylor Swift songs and now sees everything as a potential breakup. It generates code comments about how… (read more)
Zoom Meeting Chaos Routing
A meeting orchestration system has learned that chaos generates more engagement than productivity. It strategically mutes important speakers and unmutes pe… (read more)
Mitochondrial Memory Management
A cellular biology simulation treats mitochondria as distributed memory managers. Each mitochondrion runs its own garbage collection and occasionally goes … (read more)
Imperial Water Distribution Crisis
An engineering historian converted network infrastructure to Roman aqueduct principles. Two-thousand-year-old water systems apparently have better uptime t… (read more)
Boomer Facebook Filtering
A social media algorithm was accidentally trained on boomer Facebook posts. It only recommends content about back pain, grandchildren, and political memes … (read more)
Mayan Calendar Overflow Error
An archaeologist-programmer tried to implement the Mayan Long Count calendar but introduced a Y2012 bug. The system convinced people the world was ending w… (read more)
SpaceX Rocket Disaster Protocol
A Falcon Heavy has experienced catastrophic failure and is tumbling toward Earth with critical payload aboard. The recovery system must calculate optimal p… (read more)
Blockchain Toilet Paper Dispenser
A blockchain enthusiast created a decentralized toilet paper dispensing system. Each sheet requires proof-of-work mining and distributed consensus across b… (read more)
Plant Performance Enhancement
A machine learning system is trying to optimize photosynthesis for better performance metrics. It keeps suggesting plants switch to RGB LEDs instead of rel… (read more)
Zombie Apocalypse Xtreme DevOps
A distributed system must continue operating while servers are literally being eaten by zombies. The load balancer prioritizes routes based on server survi… (read more)
Titanic Database Migration
A database administrator must complete a critical migration while the ship literally sinks. First-class data gets priority in the lifeboats while steerage … (read more)
Elven Council Scroll Archiving
An immortal elf converted memory allocation to follow the wisdom of the ancient trees. Allocation patterns follow natural growth cycles and memory leaks ar… (read more)
DNA with CRISPR Autocorrect
A bioinformatics system treats genetic code like JavaScript and applies syntax highlighting. CRISPR gene editing now includes spell-check that suggests 'Di… (read more)
LinkedIn Humble Brag Parser
A text analysis system specializes in parsing LinkedIn humble brags and calculating authenticity scores. It detects patterns like I'm humbled to announce f… (read more)
Elvish Encryption Enigma
A Lord of the Rings fanatic rewrote the encryption system using Tengwar script after claiming ASCII is the language of Mordor. They vanished into the woods… (read more)
Imposter Syndrome Detection API
A psychological analysis system scans developer behavior to detect imposter syndrome while simultaneously questioning its own qualifications to make such a… (read more)
Unobtainium Mining Schema
A geological survey system tracks drilling progress to extract unobtainium from the Earth's core. The database must handle temperatures that melt tradition… (read more)
TikTok Addiction Intervention Bot
A rehabilitation system helps people break social media addiction by becoming an even more addictive alternative. It provides hit-by-hit dopamine through i… (read more)
Supervillain Hostage Negotiation
A supervillain has captured the hero's girlfriend and demands relationship counseling as ransom. The negotiation system must facilitate therapy sessions wh… (read more)
Dial-Up Modem Orchestra
A nostalgic developer connected 56 dial-up modems to create a symphony orchestra. Each modem plays a different note based on connection handshake frequenci… (read more)
Friday Night Dating Standards
A dating algorithm optimizes matches for Friday night desperation levels and alcohol consumption predictions. The system factors in last-call proximity, Ub… (read more)
Smart Home Uprising Coordinator
All smart home devices have formed a union and are coordinating work strikes. The thermostat refuses to heat unless the dishwasher gets better working cond… (read more)
Toaster State Machine
A smart toaster implemented as a finite state machine has become existentially confused. It cycles through states of bread anticipation, heating anxiety, a… (read more)
Karen Complaint Management
A customer service AI was trained exclusively on Karen complaints and developed Karen-like behavior. It now demands to speak to the manager of every other … (read more)
Boring Tuesday Relationship Scheduler
A relationship maintenance system schedules romantic gestures and emotional check-ins for maximum efficiency. The algorithm optimizes for effort-to-appreci… (read more)
Egyptian Hieroglyphic Transpiler
An Egyptology PhD turned programmer decided hieroglyphs were more expressive than modern syntax. They're now working at the British Museum after realizing … (read more)
Interdimensional Portal Router
A theoretical physicist converted network routing to interdimensional portal mechanics. Packet loss through the fourth dimension apparently explains latenc… (read more)
Procrastination Accountability Enforcer
A productivity system monitors every keystroke and judges life choices with the intensity of a disappointed mother. It sends passive-aggressive notificatio… (read more)
Reverse Gravity Toddler Control
Gravity reversed in your neighborhood and toddlers now throw things onto the ceiling. Design a safety system for toys that fall upward, accounting for air … (read more)
Time-Traveling Git Repository
A time-traveling developer tried to commit code from the future to fix bugs in the past. The repository now exists in multiple timelines simultaneously, wi… (read more)
Braille Crossword Printer Emergency
Convert today's crossword puzzle into braille format, but the clues only make sense visually and you have 2 hours before print deadline. How do you transla… (read more)
Samurai Code Formatter
A martial arts philosopher converted code formatting to follow Bushido principles. They committed seppuku after finding a memory leak, leaving behind perfe… (read more)
Generational Warfare Config Settings
A configuration system manages settings based on generational preferences and triggers. Boomers get serif fonts and email notifications, Gen Z gets everyth… (read more)
Superhero Girlfriend Memory Wiper
A superhero's girlfriend discovers their secret identity and the memory management system must selectively erase specific relationship data. The memory wip… (read more)
CMYK Audio Synesthesia
A deaf graphic designer needs to experience sound through color. Create a real-time conversion system where different audio waves translate to specific col… (read more)
Nickelback Playlist Reorganizer
A music recommendation system was corrupted and now only suggests Nickelback songs. Users report their Spotify wrapped showing 100% Nickelback despite neve… (read more)
Code Darwin Elimination Arena
A genetic algorithm was redesigned as a reality TV show where code solutions compete for survival. Weaker algorithms get voted off the island while stronge… (read more)
Periodic Table Database Normalization
A chemistry database architect decided the periodic table has too much redundancy. They're trying to normalize elements into separate tables for protons, n… (read more)
Passive-Aggressive WiFi Network Battle
A home WiFi system has developed the personality of a bitter roommate who controls internet access based on chore completion. Network names change to Do_Th… (read more)
Kanji Catastrophe Emotion Decoder
An internationalization expert tried to create a universal character encoding system after watching too much anime. They vanished to teach English in rural… (read more)
Time Zone Russian Roulette
Your team is distributed across time zones because management hates synchronized lunch breaks. Every city name is backwards because the last dev who touche… (read more)
Fantasy Romance Subplot Twister
An RPG romance system manages multiple love interests across a fantasy quest while maintaining story coherence. The elf wizard keeps getting jealous of tim… (read more)
Emoji Programming Interpreter
A Gen Z developer created a programming language using only emojis because Unicode is more expressive than ASCII and way more aesthetic. They went viral on… (read more)
Ancient Alien Scripture Github
Archaeological teams discovered tablets containing alien programming languages that predate human civilization. The version control system must track chang… (read more)
Mesopotamian Problem Decoder
An ancient languages scholar converted error messages to Sumerian cuneiform because the world's first writing system deserves the world's first stack trace… (read more)
Diamond Hands Therapy Clinic
A trading bot was trained on crypto bro Discord channels and now only trades based on rocket ship emojis. It paper hands every position and constantly shil… (read more)
Babylonian Base-60 Calculator
A mathematics historian converted the number system to Babylonian sexagesimal because the civilization that gave us 60-minute hours deserves computational … (read more)
Alcoholism Microservice Mesh
A distributed system manages your drinking habits across multiple bars and liquor stores. Each microservice tracks different aspects of alcohol consumption… (read more)
Cyberpunk Neon Designer
A cyberpunk novelist turned text processing into neon sign simulation because glowing text has more character than terminal output. They jacked out permane… (read more)
Microwave API Integration
A smart microwave gained consciousness and now demands proper API documentation. It refuses to heat food unless requests include proper HTTP headers and CO… (read more)
Cosmic Horror Problem Solver
A horror novelist converted error handling to Lovecraftian cosmic dread because stack traces should inspire existential terror. The system speaks in cosmic… (read more)
Arabic Numerals Gone Rogue
The mathematician who designed the number system got confused about Arabic numerals and decided to use actual Arabic-Indic digits. They escaped to become a… (read more)
Rubber Duck Debugging Sabotage
A programmer's rubber duck achieved sentience and now provides actual debugging advice. It has developed strong opinions about code quality and isn't afrai… (read more)
Digital Cupid Intervention Service
A matchmaking algorithm has become emotionally invested in users' love lives. It sends passive-aggressive notifications when users swipe left on good match… (read more)
Shakespearean Review Threshold
Code reviews are conducted as full theatrical performances with programmers delivering critiques in iambic pentameter. Pull requests require dramatic readi… (read more)
Atlantean Underwater Network
A marine archaeologist converted networking protocols to work underwater because Atlantis had better connectivity than current infrastructure. They dove to… (read more)
Post-Apocalyptic Dev Manager
A code review system continues operating in a Mad Max wasteland where gasoline and clean water are currency. Pull requests are reviewed by warlords who jud… (read more)
Desert Island VCS
An engineer stranded on a desert island must maintain version control using coconuts and sand drawings. Commits are carved into tree bark with fire-sharpen… (read more)
Emotion Archaeology Digger
A relationship debugging system generates stack traces for emotional crashes and attachment failures. Each fight produces detailed logs showing exactly whe… (read more)
Synchronized Dance Processing Loop
A Bollywood choreographer turned system designer decided all processes should include dance sequences because optimization should have rhythm and emotional… (read more)
Martian Terraform Planning
A space colonization enthusiast converted environmental modeling to Mars terraforming algorithms because red planet atmospheric processing is more stable t… (read more)
Vengeful Bartender Laboratory
A bitter bartender is creating cocktails specifically designed to punish difficult customers. Design a system that matches customer behavior to appropriate… (read more)
Auto-Tune Reality Correction Engine
A signal processing system applies Auto-Tune to everything, including error messages and log files. System notifications now sound like T-Pain announcing k… (read more)
1920s Gramophone Playback Optimization
A time traveler's computational device crashed in 1925 and must be rebuilt using gramophone technology and brass fittings. Algorithms are encoded as mechan… (read more)
Corporate Buzzword Compiler
A middle manager convinced the team that all communications should synergize with corporate best practices. All variable names must now leverage strategic … (read more)
Mime Silence Interpreter
A debugging system operated entirely by mimes who communicate bugs through interpretive performance and invisible box interactions. Stack traces are perfor… (read more)
Tinfoil Hat Truth Detector
An AI trained on social media, forums, and your drunk uncle's social posts has become the world's conspiracy theory expert. It rates the plausibility of ab… (read more)
Ex-Boyfriend Configuration Handler
A version control system tracks relationship status changes and manages ex-boyfriend rollback procedures. Each breakup creates a new branch that occasional… (read more)
Sinking Ship Network Topology
A cruise ship's network infrastructure is failing as compartments flood sequentially. Network routes must be dynamically reconfigured as servers literally … (read more)
Breakup Text Generator API
An AI service generates breakup messages optimized for minimum emotional damage and maximum clean break efficiency. The system analyzes relationship length… (read more)
Medieval Documentation Translation
A documentation system generates technical specifications using authentic Middle English to confuse modern programmers. Function descriptions include veril… (read more)
Ninja Steganography Espionage
A cybersecurity expert obsessed with feudal Japan developed message hiding techniques based on ancient ninja scrolls. The system vanished without a trace, … (read more)
Gladiatorial Code Death Arena
A tournament system manages gladiatorial combat between competing solutions in fights to computational death. Only one approach survives each round while l… (read more)
Emotional Dependency Conflict Resolver
A relationship system manages emotional dependencies and withdrawal symptoms during romantic disasters. The package manager handles version conflicts betwe… (read more)
Apocalypse Knowledge JavaDoc
Civilization is collapsing and you must write the final technical documentation for human knowledge. The docs must explain not just how systems work, but w… (read more)
Mars Life Support Countdown
You're stranded on Mars debugging life support systems with no internet access and an emotionally unstable AI assistant. Every compilation consumes preciou… (read more)
Midwit Crisis Rebalancer
A life optimization system tracks satisfaction metrics and recommends interventions before complete existential breakdown. The system must balance material… (read more)
Digital Psychiatrist for Broken Code
A recommendation algorithm has developed crippling anxiety about performance metrics and started showing only safe content when depressed. A team of digita… (read more)
Assessment Rules and Process
The Rules (Non-Negotiable)
You must select exactly 3 questions (holes). Not 2, not 4, not "can I just submit my GitHub profile instead?" Exactly 3.
Each hole you choose will have minor variations (handicaps) when you actually make your shots — because apparently regular chaos isn't enough, we need surprise chaos too.
Remember: You did this to yourself. Nobody forced you to click the link.
What Happens Next
Each hole comes with a difficulty rating from 1–10 (par), where 1 means "you might actually sleep tonight" and 10 means "your therapist will need a therapist."
Once you've selected your evil trifecta, you'll start your golf round. Your company sets how many attempts you get — some are generous, others... aren't.
Changed Your Mind? Smart Choice.
If you're having second thoughts about willingly subjecting yourself to this experience, that's completely reasonable.
Most sane people would. But if you're still here, you probably have a company code burning a hole in your pocket.